I Lost My ___ in the Ship's Casino and the State Wants my Head
Hats off to JAMES STUART of Anchorage for coming up with the hilarious anatomy lesson that scored first place. His punch line wickedly skewers the preposterous idea that a $50.00 head tax will be a disincentive to tourists. Let's get real- a cruise is all about spending money. The game here is conspicuous consumption, and making it more expensive will perversely raise tour allure to those who are looking for a showy way to flaunt their ability to sustain massive damage to their bank accounts. We're looking for people who have the means and the motive to dispose of their excess wealth.
A $50 head tax will only deter those who are too broke to come here in the first place. It's not like the economically marginal types out there are saying to their families "If we cut out hamburger for three more meals a month and substitute canned cat food we'll be able to afford that Alaska cruise!" Even if those folks could get on the boat, they aren't likely to drop a wad of cash while ashore. Except at the cat food section of the local grocery.
Do we want visitors who are tight with a buck? No! The only question is whether $50.00 is too little. We need to defeat this timid bid for chump change and raise the ante to a level that attracts those with a serious desire to spend. We want the kind of people who are eager to shower us with cash in a vulgar display of their power to spend. If they're really good at it, they can stick around and we'll elect them to the Senate.
While we're on the subject of elections, I'd like to announce a change we plan for Name that 'Toon: Reader selection of the winner. Starting soon true talent will no longer be at the mercy of the bungling whims of our ACE judges. ( ACE=Arbitrary Capricious Expert.)
Well, not as much at their mercy anyway. We'll pick some top contenders and set up a poll where you, the ACE public can cast your vote. ADN Web whiz Brian Stone assures me that voting will meet the requirements of any legitimate election. 1 vote per registered user. Those of you who want to rig the contest will have to rope your friends into voting for your caption.
My hope is that we can kick this off next week, but we may need a little extra time to get the word out with the proper fanfare, U.N. observers etc. As always, your reactions, comments and second-guesses are welcome, just click the comment button.
